i realized that somtimes it's the truth that hurts, but even so i must insist sometimes i must pen down my feelings. from now on you may not find things that would please you, but i'm trying to find the root of my life, so hopefully by writing and describing these thoughts, i'm able to.

i'm occasionally weak and pathetic, for sometimes a falter can just drive me crazy. and i believe that the people who act the strongest are often people the weakest of mankind. it's a facade that hides literally deceiving people for i believe the people who are the strongest, truly understands himself/herself. i'll be deceiving others and myself if i were to act strong, for then i will not be able to cope and help and instead cause more troubles then what the person already have. i'll be there to listen and perhaps just that, for sometimes i can't do anymore as i must admit. it's the truth that hurts, i know, but it's the truth that i should and must reveal about myself.

i guess i'm coming to a conclusion that occasionally praises aren't everything. despite how much we wish for them, it's sometimes knowing about youself is the best. praises come along then, from there work your head up and don't be big-headed as then i realized i was once in awhile, which annoys me to no end for then i realized that none of my works are true and are only meant to please people and they are not real to me and do not describe the hidden feelings from there. it was once for me to please, although then i hated my work to no end, and only when i did it from the bottom of my heart, truly then i really enjoyed all the work i had done, for then i'm proud of it for it is real. despite being occasionally disliked, i have come to realize the best works are from your feelings alone. and that i appreciate it if it does.

this is the truth for i will not falter and hide anymore. i gurantee that once in awhile when anyone comes with me thier problems, i have no where to hide for i am speechless for what to say and only then do i cower beneath a shell. i'll try to help in anyone way, but it has to come from my heart for then i'm truly able to help.

this is why i detest talking online, cause it is not genuine and at any one time i can lie to you, which i hate, cause then i'll despise myself for lying to someone close. upfront confrontations are much better i should dearly believe. i know some of us use the 'spirit' of online to escape facial expressions, but i hate it, cause for me, i find it unreal, and thus if friendship is only being pass through computers, i must ask then, what is friendship?

this post is not meant to be confusing, but rather to sort my confusion out. if it does confused you i believe then, we should start by answering questions from our hearts.

i detest it

the feeling of untruth

the works and pieces

that are not bottom from our hearts

give me a clue

what should i do

only then do i understand

the strength that come from us

the feeling of expressions

are being compressions

for we wish to hide

in the shell

for no one to see

the tiny bell

that lies in our hearts